I’m Not Unifying

I’m Not Unifying by Kurt Schlichter for Town Hall

Wait, I changed my mind from the headline. Let’s unify this sucker. Let’s all work together for a brighter tomorrow and join the team and bring in the big win. Let’s have a big circle of hugs and solidarity where we rally around shared values and norms. Except how about we normal people get to pick those values and norms, not the garbage elite that presumes to rule us?


Just kidding! The idea that we might have some legitimate interests and policy preferences is outrageous and seditious and probably transphobic and generally doubleplusungood. We need to give them up and submit, er, unify. After all, the purpose of this unity babble is to shut us up, to cause us to voluntarily submit, and to get out of the way of the leftist globalist reset desired by these corruptocrats, who match their soaring incompetence only with their inexplicable self-regard. Sinophilic geriatric weirdo Joe Biden* will almost certainly be sworn in this month, the ravings of the Twitter fantasists notwithstanding, but don’t ask me to treat His Fraudulence like anything but the vaguely aware interloper he is, occupying the White House solely due to a confluence of rigging, GOP idiocy, and slobbering media tongue-bathing.

One need not believe in either unicorns or krakens to understand that what happened in November 2020 was a mammoth scam and disgrace, and our naïve Constitution, with courts demanding standing and a presumption of regularity and all that old-fashioned stuff, was unable to deal with the outright, blatant steal. The establishment leveraged the way we designed our system, assuming the good faith of both sides, into a cheat that will cause untold damage to our country. Now the cabal may wish to put behind us the whole unpleasantness about destroying all the norms in order to barely thieve back what the voters took from them as recompense in 2016, but that’s not happening.

Unify this, jerks. We’re not interested in normalcy that equals serfdom.

They have no moral authority over me, or you, and the actual hard power they temporarily and tentatively hold is backed up only by social inertia (where people just go along not really realizing how much has changed) and the guns of those who have not yet chosen to drop them and refuse to comply. There will always be a few doughnut munchers who, with their pensions on their minds, will hassle a mom in a park because she hasn’t wrapped a bandana around her kid’s mouth, but other cops are voting with their feet. The big blue city police departments can’t keep folks on the job, and I expect military recruiting to nosedive as those of us in the caste that makes up the armed forces – it sure ain’t the pierced pronoun posse, except at the officer level, which is a whole other column – decide that if Asterisk and his pals want someone to die in their next idiotic war, they can go recruit him/her/them out of a gender studies seminar at Gumbo State.

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