If Trump Were Serious About Making America Great Again, He Would Have Done This
If Trump Were Serious About Making America Great Again, He Would Have Done This by Art Carden for American Institute for Economic Research
As we near the end of the Trump presidency–or the midpoint of the Trump presidency, or the end of the first four years of the Trump dynasty, depending on how things go–it’s a good idea to pause and reflect on what we’ve learned during his administration. In 2016, he ran on the promise to Make America Great Again. It’s a promise he renewed in 2020. It’s also a promise I don’t think he was really serious about keeping, because for all his ranting and raving about walls and tariffs, he never did the one thing he could have done to really protect Americans from low-price, low-wage foreign competition. At his earliest opportunity, he should have instructed the Air Force to scramble fighters and blow Santa Claus out of the sky as soon as NORAD picked him up crossing into US airspace.
It’s a blindingly obvious solution when you think about it. The holiday season is when the lion’s share of consumer spending happens, and if low-price imports are threats to American prosperity, the case for taking out Santa is practically self-explanatory. Maybe you’re aghast at the very idea. Santa, after all, spreads joy and happiness to children around the world. He does so, however, at the expense of American workers–and, therefore, at the expense of American greatness.
It’s not like Santa is that hard to find. You can pick out the North Pole on any globe or world map, and NORAD tracks him every Christmas Eve. It certainly isn’t a matter of whether or not we have the ability to do it. It’s a question of whether or not we have the political will to do it. Making a country great requires a lot of difficult decisions. If America is going to be Great Again, then we reach an unavoidable conclusion: Santa has to die.
There might be a bit of short-term disruption as people wake up on Christmas morning to discover that the video game consoles and sporting goods they expected to find under the tree aren’t there, and I’m sure some children would be traumatized by what would almost certainly be round-the-clock coverage of the smoldering wreckage of what used to be Santa’s sleigh. There is no doubt, though, that taking Santa out of the picture would encourage the national labor at least at much as, say, blocking out the sun to support the candle industry.