Bullheaded Dave Portnoy Gets Pounded with His Own Hammer

Bullheaded Dave Portnoy Gets Pounded with His Own Hammer by Dave Haggith for The Great Recession

Dave Portnoy is shaking his fist at the stock market, daring it to give him a bigger pounding than it already has — telling his gambling fans how the $700 million he lost on Thursday, and the four-million he’s lost “in a f—ing blink” over the week is just a flesh wound, a mere scratch.

If it’s “just a scratch,” he’s soon going to look like he took a naked marathon run through the blackberry patch. So, it’s a good thing he doesn’t appear to be too sober. He’s going to need a lot more anesthesia before his downhill run is over.

Potnoy is the big-mouth braggart who has led the Robinhood investing pack to gain billions in the insanity run that the stock market made against the backdrop of a shattered economy. Out of the ashes of the economic Covidcrash, Portnoy managed to establish the baloney mantra that “stocks only go up,” and he was fool enough to believe his barstool wisdom.

Yeah, stocks only go up in a meltup, and Portnoy got into the day trading gig just in time to ride the most insane melt-up in history … and help create it with his braggadocios cheerleading. The broader truth is that “stocks only go up … until they don’t.” He could have learned that just by drinking a little less during the market’s March madness. (As opposed to April’s fool run.)

Here, after just taking a major headbanger during the market’s Thursday opening, is Dave Portnoy boasting about how indomitable he is even as the market proved … again … the adage he’s tried to create is a fraud. He sounds like he just spent previous night downing Irish car bombs to steady his hands after the thromping he got in the earlier part of the week. This is the sound of money circling the drain as someone is too dumb and too arrogant to get out of harms way:

Portnoy is pretending he loves the thrashing like a boxer loves a good fight, but he’s clearly been hit enough that he’s punch-drunk and can’t figure out which ways is up in the market or, at least, why the market keeps falling when it never does that.

That’s what the brassy balls of golden bulls do when they run their heads into a boulder. They brag about how they didn’t even feel the pain, even as they stagger and their eyes role back in their sockets.

Portnoy right now looks like this kind of bloodied bull, determined to climb back up the edifice from which he fell and take the fall all over again:

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David Haggith

Knave Dave — vigilante against the false profits of The Great Recession Too many criminal CEOs still fill their porky bellies with the biggest taxpayer bailouts in the history of the world. These bailouts protect their reputations, saving them from the fall they should have taken. They continue to receive bonuses for having done an unparalleled job of destroying their companies! Many of their companies wouldn’t be making any profit at all if not for the interest they’re making off of nearly free government bailouts. Just this week Hewlett-Packard fired its CEO, but is still paying him a bonus of millions of dollars in exchange for a year of corporate wandering in the wilderness. Netflix’s CEO cost his company hundreds of thousands of subscribers and had to reverse his decision. Bank of America’s CEO launched a debit-card fee plan that was immediately stupid in the eyes of many, but greed an arrogance led him to think he could pass it by his customers, and he lost customers in droves and had to reverse his decision, as did the many major banks that followed him. Since these corporate leaders do things most of us can immediately see as being dumb, why are they rewarded with salaries a thousand times greater than many of us make?