Bullheaded Dave Portnoy Gets Pounded with His Own Hammer
Bullheaded Dave Portnoy Gets Pounded with His Own Hammer by Dave Haggith for The Great Recession
Dave Portnoy is shaking his fist at the stock market, daring it to give him a bigger pounding than it already has — telling his gambling fans how the $700 million he lost on Thursday, and the four-million he’s lost “in a f—ing blink” over the week is just a flesh wound, a mere scratch.
If it’s “just a scratch,” he’s soon going to look like he took a naked marathon run through the blackberry patch. So, it’s a good thing he doesn’t appear to be too sober. He’s going to need a lot more anesthesia before his downhill run is over.
Potnoy is the big-mouth braggart who has led the Robinhood investing pack to gain billions in the insanity run that the stock market made against the backdrop of a shattered economy. Out of the ashes of the economic Covidcrash, Portnoy managed to establish the baloney mantra that “stocks only go up,” and he was fool enough to believe his barstool wisdom.
Yeah, stocks only go up in a meltup, and Portnoy got into the day trading gig just in time to ride the most insane melt-up in history … and help create it with his braggadocios cheerleading. The broader truth is that “stocks only go up … until they don’t.” He could have learned that just by drinking a little less during the market’s March madness. (As opposed to April’s fool run.)
Here, after just taking a major headbanger during the market’s Thursday opening, is Dave Portnoy boasting about how indomitable he is even as the market proved … again … the adage he’s tried to create is a fraud. He sounds like he just spent previous night downing Irish car bombs to steady his hands after the thromping he got in the earlier part of the week. This is the sound of money circling the drain as someone is too dumb and too arrogant to get out of harms way:
— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) September 8, 2020
Portnoy is pretending he loves the thrashing like a boxer loves a good fight, but he’s clearly been hit enough that he’s punch-drunk and can’t figure out which ways is up in the market or, at least, why the market keeps falling when it never does that.
That’s what the brassy balls of golden bulls do when they run their heads into a boulder. They brag about how they didn’t even feel the pain, even as they stagger and their eyes role back in their sockets.
Portnoy right now looks like this kind of bloodied bull, determined to climb back up the edifice from which he fell and take the fall all over again: